Time out

Dieter is in a time out right now. We were outside, playing some frisbee for a while. Then, while he was putzing around the yard, I decided it was a perfect time to enjoy the 60 degree weather and get some yard waste bagged and out to the curb for tonight's trash pickup.

Next thing I know, a flying ball of fur dashes by me and grabs the yard bag, which luckily was only about 1/4 full. Oh joy, oh glory, oh sweet abandonment.

I've never been very nimble, and bum knees make me even less so, but I gamely tried to corral the dog. Without much luck. He managed to rip three huge chunks out of the bag while pretending to savage it to within an inch of its life. The dog was escorted into the house while I started the second installment of yard clean up.

Which is how Dieter came to be in a time out in his kennel right now. He has been carrying on like a child having a temper tantrum. Actually, he sounds more like some chimpanzee having a hissy fit. Dieter also is a pro at making sad puppy dog eyes. He knows he's been bad, but he hopes we'll think he's so cute that we'll spring him from his solitary confinement. The sad-eye ploy isn't particularly effective, though, when the humans aren't in the room to witness it. Lloyd and I say he's sort of like that baby in the E Trade commercials. Today's installment would go something like this: "I'm in solitary because evidently stealing the yard waste bag from mom and ripping it to pieces is frowned upon in this establishment...just a dog and his thoughts and a smartphone with an E Trade ap. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..."

Other infractions that have resulted in time outs include:

• Chewing the foam stuffing from his bed into hunks
• Ripping the Garden Fresh Market flyer into ticker tape
• Stealing Lloyd's glasses off of the coffee table and running around with them
• Gnawing on my copy of "Puppy Training for Dummies"
• Picking up the newly filled bowl of water and carrying it into the family room 
• Trying to eat the paper towels and mops being used to clean up the aforementioned water bowl incident
• Trying to be a zombie and pulling the stuffing (brains) out of a variety of toys, cat beds, and the like

All is quiet right now. Nothing like a little reflection time to make a guy contemplate his place in the universe.

Eating brains. So much fun to destroy my toys.