Tornado? No, Just Dieter

We've had some wild weather of late. A week or so ago they had tornado watches and warnings out, so we took Dieter to the basement (another first for him) and tethered him to one of the supports with his leash. I was my usual panicky self (thanks for making me scared of bad weather, Dad!) but Dieter was as happy as a clam. "Oh boy, another new place for me to investi-ba-gate." Even better: the support we tethered him to is near our food shelf. We're not Doomsday Preppers by any means, but we do have a good stash of canned goods and the like in the basement.

Dieter discovered that Campbell's soup cans are lots of  fun to play with and roll around on the floor. Ketchup  and soy sauce bottles were also fascinating. I gave him some dog toys, too, but the off-limits stuff is always better. At least it kept my mind from the weather. I was busy scurrying around trying to pry cans of soup from Dieter's mouth.

Last night we had another bad storm. When I left work, it was just sort of gray. But they were saying tornado warnings in DeKalb, Kane, and Kendall counties. By the time I pulled in my driveway (probably a half hour after I left work) DuPage County was under a thunderstorm warning. I got Dieter out in the backyard for a quick "hygiene break" and then the skies got really threatening and the winds picked up. So, back to the basement again. "Oh goodie, the soup can part of the house." Luckily, Dieter isn't a bit fazed by bad weather. Just keep him occupied and he's fine.

Then I told Lloyd I thought I heard a funny noise. "Stay put; I'll check," he said. A few minutes later he was back. "Hang on to yourself," he said, "but the linden tree has fallen over against the house."

"Whaaaaaa???? OMG, OMG. The sky is falling, the sky is falling," is pretty much my reaction. I might have even flapped my arms hysterically. I don't remember.

Dieter's reaction? "Do you mind if I chew on another bottle of soy sauce?"

I called the police. And State Farm. Soon three nice firemen showed up. Lloyd had gone to buy a chain saw (against the pleading, entreaties, and foot stomping he received from me and his sister) and I still had Dieter in the basement when the firemen arrived. By then the dog was a bit upset--"where have my people gone?"--and was yiping and carrying on. The firemen consulted each other, looked at the evidence, and decided: yup: that tree done fell down. And recommended I find somebody to remove said tree. And also agreed that Lloyd should not try it.

Then I returned to Dieter. He'd also found a can of Kilz primer. It was sealed, but evidently not sealed enough, as there was now Kilz on the floor, and on his feet. I untied his leash and "voom," he took off. "Oh glory. I'm free. What's this room? And this one? And this one?"

I don't want anyone to worry. Dieter's fine. The floors are fine. And I got a workout, chasing him up and down stairs, shaking the freeze dried beef liver treat container. The beef liver treats usually get him to stop whatever mischief he's gotten in to, much like an electric can opener--AKA the Electric Cat Caller--can round up errant cats.

Uh, could this thing fall on me?

After the storms passed, Lloyd took Dieter out and stood by the tree and asked me to take a picture--"to give a sense of scale" to the tree. Evidently Dieter knows a downed tree isn't where he wants to be: He yelped and lurched, trying to get away from it. "That's just dangerous, Dad!"

 

Dieter made one more attempt at mayhem last night. Right after the Hawks won their game--and the Stanley Cup--I was having a lovely glass of "Green Goodness"--a healthy drink that you know is good for you, in spite of the fact it looks like river sludge. Dieter was horsing around and bumped the bottom of the glass. The couch and I were both wearing Green Goodness. I should have just sat down with a bottle of wine and drowned my sorrows.

A friend suggested I include Dieter Damage in my State Farm claim. Yeah, I don't think so. But it sure would be nice to write off the aftermath of his shenanigans...