Rules of couch-sitting

Dieter channeling Sheldon. We're all in our places with
bright shiny faces. 

In "The Big Bang Theory," TV show, Sheldon Cooper has "eternal dibs" on his assigned spot on the couch. And nobody else had better try to sit there!

Similarly, at our house, we all have our assigned spots on the couch when watching TV. I sit on the left side, Lloyd sits on the right side, and Dieter gets the middle. 

In Season 2 of "The Big Bang Theory," Sheldon explains the importance of his spot on the couch: It is “a single point of consistency in an ever-changing world,” and adds that if his life was “expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot at the moment he first sat on it would be 0,0,0,0.”

So I'm pretty sure Dieter knows nothing about Cartesian coordinate systems, but he is smart. And definitely particular about the couch. If one of us sits in Dieter’s spot he gets all Sheldon on us. Eighty-four pounds of dog insisting you're "in my spot" means we usually acquiesce to Dieter's whims. 

Horking

Twice now Dieter has experienced what we've been told is reverse sneezing. This is a sort of public service announcement about what it is. According to Wikipedia, Reverse sneezing  is also known as backwards sneezing or inspiratory paroxysmal respiration. It caused his humans to freak out the second time it happened. 

The first time was at the vet's--we had taken Dieter in for his annual and he had freaked out on the ride over because a) he's in the car and his likes to yodel there a lot and b) he was wearing the accursed cone of shame to keep him from chewing on a lick spot, so cone and car ride? Quite the drama and carrying on. So when he was making this sort of horking sound, we thought it was because he'd worked himself up into a tizzy. The vet tech said: "sounds like a reverse sneeze." Nothing more was said about it and we went our merry way.

About 2 weeks later, he started making a strange horking sound and Lloyd shouted: "Call the vet!!!" We did and took him in. The spell resolved within a minute, but we wanted to make sure he hadn't swallowed something that was choking him. (I'm sure worse thoughts were running through the human brains!)

Vet agreed it was a reverse sneeze and said it was probably attributed to seasonal allergies. He said if he does it again, to gently stroke Dieter's throat to calm him and hasten the end of the episode. Wikipedia also says to cover the dog's nose or lightly blow in his face. Ultimately the goal is for the dog to swallow a couple of times, which stops the reverse sneezing. 

The good news is there haven't been any more episodes. The vet said if it keeps up, we can try antihistamines.

What's a Texas?

Dieter has 2 dog friends from Texas--Ranger and Travis Jackson. He's never met them face to face, but they all know about each other. I'll tell Dieter "Ranger from Texas sends his regards." And then Dieter will say "What's a Texas?" He's a very smart dog, but isn't so good on geography. Frankly, I don't know if Ranger or Travis Jackson know what an Illinois is,either. Maybe all dogs are geography challenged.














At Christmas, the Texas crew sent Dieter his very own Fort Worth bandanna. I'm told the mayor of


Fort Worth saw the picture of Dieter sporting her city's bandanna and was much impressed. No contracts have been forthcoming asking him to be the canine face of Fort Worth though. Dieter would make a noble mascot. But perhaps it would be too controversial what with an Illinois dog taking all the glory.

When I showed Dieter his bandanna gift, the first thing he did was grab it out of my hand and made a tooth mark in it. No worries, we just folded the bandanna so you couldn't see it. His poor manners spilled over when I tried to show him the note the Texas dogs sent him. The video is attached here, but basically, he swiped the note and attempted to eat it.

He does love paper, so to him it was just something to chew up. Gift-receiving etiquette is still a work in progress.

Cat Scent

Several years ago we enrolled Dieter in a nose works class. He and his cousin Tessa were in the class together. Dieter did well,  but seemed more interested in schmoozing. He’d search  a little, and then go  give kisses to the human onlookers. Then he’s search some more, find some toys, search some more, and then see his reflection in the classroom mirror and go and admire himself.  He always had everyone laughing. He might also have doggie ADHD; or as we say: "I'm Dieter. I have AD...oh look. A butterfly!"

Now Tessa has gone on in her studies and has passed several ORTs (odor recognition tests). I just found an old email from her “mom”—my cousin—where she told me that Tessa had passed the anise ORT (the first level a dog must pass is the birch scent, then anise, then clove).

Yes, that is very impressive what Tessa has done. But Dieter has done something she hasn’t: he passed the Rory ORT.

Rory is Rory the cat. The more timid of the 2 ferals that live with us. His mom, Mimsy, showed up like always for dinner, but no Rory. Then the following morning, still no Rory. He has been known to tip toe through the cat gate and into the kitchen when he knows Dieter is outside. It’s a cat defiant streak I think: “This kitchen used to be mine before that four-legged barking machine came to stay.” Evidently that happened and then he dashed to the basement when Dieter came back inside. And once a guy is in the basement, how is he supposed to get back out and past the dog?

But at that point we didn’t know where Rory was. We went through closets, looked behind bookshelves, under beds, etc. No Rory.

Hope that cat goes missing again so I can get
more ice cream

Finally we sent Dieter on the hunt and he poked around upstairs: “No cat here, mom.” So we headed him to the basement. Lloyd said “Find Rory,” and Dieter immediately pointed him out--hiding in an old record cabinet. That cabinet used to be Brilly the cat's hideout when Lloyd's kids would come over—it’s a good, safe place to be when a guy or gal wants to be all inconspicuous and left alone!

Hours later, Rory finally emerged – It only required taking Dieter on a long walk and taking him to the back yard to help me with yardwork until the cat figured he could make a break for it. And in typical cat fashion, Rory acted all nonchalant. “Oh, hi. Were you looking for me?”  

In recognition of a job well done in cat-finding nose works, Dieter received some peanut butter dog ice cream. Served in a cat bowl. Anyone can identify anise, but only the very special can identify Rory. Good job, buddy! 

Plumber's Helper

I'm terribly behind on posting events in Dieter's life. One could assume that as he has matured, he is doing less dastardly deeds. Not so! Although he's pacing himself a bit more. It makes it all the more memorable when he comes up with some new thing to entertain us with.

A while back, we had new countertops installed along with a new sink. The installers put in the sink, but reconnecting the garbage disposal and dishwasher was up to us.

"Piece of cake," said Lloyd. I can't remember how many trips back and forth to the hardware store there were, but there were plenty. And there were some choice words.

And of course friend Dieter wanted to help. I think Dieter wants to be a contributing member of society and learning a trade--like plumbing--would get him to that goal. One of us pointed out that as a fluffy, furry dog, he didn't have plumber's crack, which would probably preclude him from entering the plumbing profession. He checked out his human dad and was shocked to learn he didn't have plumber's crack either. Such is life.

Following is a little montage of the whole plumbing event.

Ai halps

Ai sniffs

Ai is sad that I is not halping more

Ai inspects da screwdrivers

Jive Talkin'?

Dieter has started to become more vocal (and I'm not including his late-night yodeling sessions when a raccoon shows up on the deck and he has to alert us of that). No, this is becoming more of a chattyness. He's trying to engage us in a conversation. Only problem is, I'm still not fluent in dog.

I posted the following video on Facebook and asked my friends what they thought he was saying. The suggestions are as follows:

• I heard hello and I love you.
• Sounds like chocolate to me. Or White Sox (it had better not be the latter!). 
• Warning, humans. Martians are landing! Evacuate!"
• Bacon Gone! 

One friend said she thought he was clearly wanting something, but didn't know what. I figure he just wanted me to keep throwing his baby into the kitchen so he could play fetch. 

Finally, the breeder where we got him said:  "One of his sisters by a different litter talks like that and so did his great, great, great grandfather. They don't all do it. You're just lucky I guess."

So what do you think he's saying? 

https://www.facebook.com/barbara.hower.3/videos/10212014693781014/?l=3513465630479215536

Peck's Bad Boy

The original Peck's Bad Boy--AKA Dieter. I thought by the time he turned 4 he'd be a little more sedate. Truthfully, I guess he is: sedate for Dieter that is. NOT sedate in normal dog terms.

To be fair, Dieter's probably got cabin fever. Since his human dad had to have open-heart surgery and isn't allowed to walk Dieter (all 80 pounds of him) until his chest heals, I think Dieter needs to work off some energy. I think both human and canine miss their long walks.

So to burn off some of his energy, Dieter has been creative and doing some bratty antics. This is from one day of Dieter's "Bratty Play Book":

Pondering how to escape and eat cat food.

1. He muscled past me as I went through the dog gate. Freeeeeee. We don't make Dieter wear a collar in the house, so I attempted to grab his ruff as he darted by me. He complained and got away. Usually all I have to do is corral him with a leash fashioned as a lasso. Not that day. He'd see me coming with the leash and bolt. I finally gave up and went into the family room (I didn't hear any cat shrieks or crashes, so figured nothing too major was going on). Dieter finally got bored with freedom (which could have had something to do with me putting the cat food up and out of reach), so he returned to the scene of the crime. I placed him in solitary confinement. I believe I threatened him with going to the knacker. I was desperate! 
2. Later, he stole some paper napkins and shredded them.  
3. Then he stole a big hunk of french bread from the counter.  
4. Even later, I heard Lloyd say: "Where are you getting all that stuff from? Answer me." Dieter had been pulling tissues from Lloyd's pockets and shredding them.  
5. The grand finale: Dieter stole and ate a Nature's Valley Peanut Butter & Dark Chocolate bar that he swiped out of the cupboard. I called the emergency vet--there was no Xylitol in it and they figured that a 1.42 oz bar in an 80 lb GSD would not cause any harm. It didn't. But still...

The next day I was recounting Dieter's offenses to my cousin (who has a GSD cousin of Dieter and who knows what evil geniuses they can be). She said: I've had many GSD's who did what you're telling me. They just didn't happen all on the same day.

That's my son, the dog.